Legal Alien: A Scotsman in Montreal

Doug, you may want to look away

Went back up to Edinburgh on Friday night to hang out with some old friends. In the end me, Doug, Neil B and Neil C and his girlfriend went out for some beers at around 9. NC and Hannah went home at around midnight I guess but me, Doug and Neil stayed on and kept drinking.

Closing time came and we were getting kicked out so I downed the what was left of my drink and then instantly regretted it. As soon as I left the bar I was bent double in the street trying not to vomit! At the same time, Doug and Neil were seeing if they could jump and spin round 360 degrees before landing. People were having to walk in the street to avoid us! Anyway, I survived my nausea attack and we headed to the next bar, some place I'd never been called Nicol Edwards.

Tt was a strange place, lots of nooks and crannies and alcoves. The weirdest part is that it had a small 20 seater cinema in it where they were showing The Sixth Sense!!! I have never been to a bar with a cinema before! Anyway, we went down to where the live music was and had a few more drinks, met a whole pile of foreigners: canadians, americans, french most of whom seemed to be doing temp jobs or waitressing in the city. We tried to get ourselves invited back to some party one of them knew about, but it was a no-go so when we got kicked out at closing again we took the night bus home.

Next morning, we all felt shocking, though I think Doug wins the prize for worst hangover. He threw up once in the morning and then after he'd revived enough we set out in his car so that he could drop Neil off nearer his house and drive through to Glasgow. After driving for about 10 minutes, Doug suddenly announces he feels ill again, pulls the car over, flicks on the hazard lights, jumps out and vomits again!!

Once more we set off, drop Neil off and then as we're heading out of Edinburgh, the clutch on Doug's car's breaks. Right at a busy roundabout!!! It looks like I'm going to have to get out and push Doug into the roundabout so that we can stop blocking traffic, but luckily a bus driver leans out the window and asks what's wrong. On hearing that the clutch is bust, he explains to doug that he can start the engine in gear and drive off, which he duly does. Unfortunately for Doug, he can't remember which breakdown service he's with and so he had to abandon the car and pay for it to be towed to a garage!