Legal Alien: A Scotsman in Montreal

 
St Guiness Day

Let me make this painfully clear, I hate St Patrick's Day. I loathe it with a passion normally only reserved for Rangers (the Glasgow footballing kind, not the park kind). I never used to. Not until I hit this side of the Atlantic. Back over in Blighty, St Patrick's Day passes like any other, although the Irish bars may be busier than usual if it's a Sunday or a Monday. There are no parades, there are no floats there is no dye in the river. Cos in reality no-one really cares - the Irish I know use it as an occasion to get hammered - but then, the day having a y in it is often sufficient reason for that. Does anyone even realise that there also exists a St Andrew's Day, a St George's Day and a St David's Day? Do people celebrate them over here? Did all the pseudo-Scots get a big celebration last November? No, and you wanna know why? Cos they're not sponsored by fucking Guiness.

That's all SPD is. One big marketing campaign to buy beer. Like the fucking idiotic idea of making it a national holiday! Oh yes, the Irish eyes will be smiling alright, and along with big dollar signs in the Guiness boardroom. It totally hits the raw nerve I have about the way the Americans express their identity - I was out on St Laurent on Canada Day last year and it was dead. Nothing, nadda, zero, zilch. But SPD? The world's second biggest parade. Go figure.